The challenge of modern relationships

Romance is assumed by many to be the most beautiful feeling that anybody could experience.I mean the feeling of being loved gives us strength , and the much needed affection every person craves for to get them through .

I could also look at it as a safe haven where one has this mental picture of someone loving you and his/her world revolves around you and you alone.

Staying in a committed relationship though is another issue. Situations would test your commitments and the love you have professed for each other would be questioned over and over again. These are inevitable circumstances we all pass through, and even though its tough sometimes its not the main issue.
The issue is if these challenges and problems we encounter can be properly managed to avoid break ups and heart aches.

After hearing countless similar stories from friends and relatives, i have come to a certain conclusion about love and relationships. (Its an endless game or laughter and tears, sweet and sour moments, bitter and forgiving journeys and no matter how scared one gets in a relationship, they can swear that its the best feeling ever.)

The most common reoccurring issues i keep hearing i will soon list, but first i think we all agree these things vary in range and complexity depending on the parties involved.

compatibility
compatibility between couples is a big deal. What i like, dislike, habits and day to day behaviour towards each other and situations that come up during the time of dating. I have realised many are not fully prepared before they decide to commit, they don’t take time to know each other and wrap themselves in the blinding folds of love.

Infidelity
Not staying faithful to ones partner is another why people in a relationship. And in the most cases i have heard always leads to a break up. Personally i don’t understand this phenomenon, what about forbidden things is so attractive that makes us want to risk it all and commit acts that hurt the people close to us? I guess i would never know.
There are people today who would easily hop unto another relationship train once they feel the grass may be greener on the other side.

Abuse
A very common problem between couples and yet the least subject people pay attention to. Abuse could come in several forms, verbal, physical, emotional and sometimes even mental (Mind games).

I know a friend who dated this girl and swore he loved and would go to the ends of the earth just to prove his love for his lady.(format nkoaa..lol). Anyway in my opinion i think he was just playing mind games with this girl. She had no place to live and was staying in my friends house, he was practically like a provider for her..He makes her cook, clean, and scrub.By the way she did this without complaints, knowing very well the day she does, he might get offended and drive her out.She felt some form of gratitude to this guy who had made her into his “Chores Lady” – she got shouted at even when all our friends were around, one time even made to sleep outside because she had gone to visit a friend and had come home late. He always said “If you pamper women, they begin to play the fool”.
Even till this this day i still remember the look on this girls face when we came around, full of sadness and shame for the circumstances she has found herself in.

Communication
Assumptions i have always said is swift and quick way to wreck any relationship.To assume the person you are with is up to something and not verify but rather develop a negative mindset and hate towards that person is foolish and baseless in all forms no matter the situation at hand.
He should have known, she should have know are words i keep hearing couples saying every time. How the H*&8 is he or she supposed to read your mind and know what you wanna say or do?Say what you want and properly communicate what you are feeling.

There are many other issues such as Sexual hiccups and orientation, intimacy, ethnic persuasions, race, physical appearance etc.

Check your motives, be sincere and honest to the person you end up with, its very common to find people choosing partners and lovers for very trivial things such as fame, appearance, money, status etc.

Its important to examine yourself and resolve any insecurities within before you commit, else you make life hell for the other person who doesn’t even deserve that kind of attitude.

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