A usual tuesday morning on the streets of accra, rush hour – everyone is in a hurry to get to work or other parts of town.
Temperatures above 26 degrees! Sunshine on my skin! Long walks under this very hot condotions dont excite me at all.
I love this hot weather I exclaimed in the front seat of the cab I was in on my way to work.
My friend sitting at the back seat immediately replied “WHAT!?” “This weather is just not suitable for me she said from the back seat of the car!!”
“Seriously? Why would you say that!? I asked”
She went on to explain, “Don’t get me wrong. I want to love the hot conditions, all the swimming I can do and relaxing on the beach but the moment I put on anything less than a full-length baggy skirt my whole day is filled with comments and I don’t want to be the cause of other people’s sexual frustrations, I can’t take it!”
I felt really bad. After all, when I am completely honest with myself, I know that I contribute to the kind of masculinity that causes her to dread this great weather.
It’s not like I actively participate in harassment. Quite the opposite, really. Usually I try pretty hard to not conform to the usual norm out there.
But when I am completely honest with myself, I recognize that far too often, when I meet a woman, my eyes go down or up or side.
Every single woman knows exactly what I am talking about, some have even come to terms with this.
And just about every man knows exactly what I’m talking about — because we do it everyday.
Many times a friend seeing am close to a pretty woman would ask “so did you hit that yet?” Constantly asking about good she would be in bed rather than tuning our minds to what she truly is – a human being too.
I guess in your mind youbare asking “What’s the problem? It’s completely natural to look at another person’s body with attraction.”
I suppose if my eyes wandering down existed in isolation, one could argue that it is simply a natural part of attraction but we all know the intent behind the looking.
My wandering eyes exist as part of a daily onslaught women face where their bodies are treated as a piece property or object – leered at, jeered at, and objectified in every major media outlet and in the eyes of most men.
Every single time that a man cannot hold a woman’s gaze and every single time that we choose to look at a woman’s ass as she walks by, we communicate one thing.
I don’t see you for who you are, rather we would rather picture all the sexual skills and naughty things you can do with her.
If it’s not a genuine intent of appreciation don’t even think of it. It’s very embarrassing and shameful to reduce a human being to just an object of pleasure.
To be honest, I don’t know.