What my children will do differently

Why am I up early this morning scribbling on my blog? This particular topic matters to me I guess. I can say i owe my life to my parents, they taught me every thing i know. Be it respect, politeness, how to be organised,  everything like I said! Everyday was a day filled with lessons on morals and life , how to tackle challenges and be strong. Survival my mother always said was not living so i should strive to be the best.

Eventually  I started to understand how their parenting system worked, I began to challenge their authority . I incessantly fought with them and tried to rework their system. A young rebel as i was i had discovered a new freedom and I wasn’t ready to let it slip from me, my regret though is I wish they had continued to parent me rather than give up and let me learn the hard way.

Eventually I had to stop fighting them, we all got along really well, but this was not until the end of my final year in in junior high.My parents did a pretty good job at jumping to my aid whenever I needed them, when i got good grades in school I was praised and when things were not going really well they tried to console me . They gave me everything which was part of the problem. I only wish they had held some things back and allowed things to take their natural course.

Now to my kids I want my kids to have a childhood the way I did, but I want them to be able to grow up with three things: Strength to endure anything that comes their way, wisdom to make sustainable life long choices and a loving supportive system that aids them, not pulls them along. I want them to find themselves before their society , media and peers influence them.

1.I will let my kids find their passion early and persue it. My parents let me have the easy way out. I have tried every sport, every instrument and every hobby. Before I could get a hang on anything i quit. And my parents let me. They should have pushed me to keep going. I am not letting my kids give up on everything, especially when they are too good at it. Most often we take somethings for granted and I won’t let that happen to my kids.

2. Reward them for their achievements. I will reward them for achieving  and praise them for milestone with more lavish presents, but I want them to grow up to be grateful for what they have.I want them to feel loved. I would cultivate the habit of reading early so it sticks whiles they are growing up.

3. I am not letting my daughter use makeup or “beauty enhancement products” before they are old enough . My daughters should not have anyone to impress by putting on make-up or any of those superficial ladies accessories Today’s hook-up culture is beginning at younger and younger ages and I will not help my daughter grow up faster. I am going to teach her to be confident without needing to wear make-up.

4. I am not going to condone bad behavior.i i threw a lot of tantrums growing up and my parents just gave in for me to have my way. They took away my Nintendo or wouldn’t allow me watch TV but never really attached any kind of seriousness to it.When it come to my children, i wont tolerate such blackmail, I am instantly going to take privileges away when they misbehave.

5. Better Communication. At my age i need not be told how important it is to have a kind of “Open Door” policy when it comes to kids and their parents. There was so much going on in my life my parents knew nothing about, and its not like they didn’t care but i guess they were to busy with life, bills to pay and a life to live. I do not want my kids to just be like a room mate living together but  rather a source of ideas, comfort and advice no matter the subject.

6. Make life-long Friends. My parents didn’t have lots of friends coming around the house whiles growing up. Once in a while i could see a strange face. For my kids i would like to encourage them to have friends they see as family. I was always envious of my friends’ families who spent holidays with their family friends. I  think there is something really special about having people that have gone through all of your life alongside you.

7. Allow them to grow at a steady pace. I guess for our generation we are all in a hurry to grow up fast, especially for kids in my part of the world (Africa) they face situations they are not supposed to as a very tender age and this impacts their lives for as long as they are on earth. I  am gonna be the kind of parent who is overly protective. I hear people say sometimes you have to let your kids loose so they learn faster, but did you know once they are damaged out there the process is irreversible?  I want my children to be protected, safe and not be occupied with “Adult problems” but still be able to make their own choices. I will be their mentor and make sure whoever can influence them negatively would be outlawed from their lives.

I have to say there is no sure formula to taking care of kids. This may or may not work depending on how i go about it, but i only want the best for my children. A steady childhood is essential for every kid and a healthy relationship with the parents plays a vital role.

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