Liar Liar pants on fire

It’s been a while I gathered my thoughts and wrote something down worth reading. Actually maybe a little bit too long, and it’s because I didn’t want to put too much out here.

There are little things I would like to keep private, close to my heart and not let it out. So much is happening in my life at this stage i have to struggle to keep up and be cool, keeping up appearances, smiling for the people watching.

Anyway back to why I’m even here up at this time of the night.

A lie -(something untrue, inaccurate, deceiving, misleading, and the list goes on and on). I’m  sure we all at a certain moment in our lives have told a little lie or another depending on the kind of person you may be.

Be it when you were in Accra but lied you were in Tarkoradi or Tarkoradi when you were actually across the boarder in Togo somewhere. Regardless of what your reasons were, you choose to lie instead of just telling the truth . Now there are those people who never evaluate their lives to curb little bad habits creeping up and just say ” oh but everybody lies”. And there is you!! who ever you are reading this blog. ( Jenny, Amy, Serwaa, Tony, Abena, Kweku, Jasmine ..). fit your name there.

Now let me get to the real reason why I choose to write about this. Every relationship is built on Trust and mutual understanding  to be there for each other no matter what . After all you are putting your life, or maybe some part of your life into someone else’s hands and you want to make sure there would so as they say and be truthful to you some of the time even if not all the time.

I see a lot of relationships falling apart these days. They don’t seem to last, its like they don’t make love so durable anymore these days. Everybody is wrapped in their feelings, selfishness, pride and so much ego flying around it makes it so hard to find genuinely down to earth person you want to spend the rest of your live with.( Not to sy its impossible to find).

I was speaking to my friend the other day and she told me how her man is always telling her how much he loves her. He sends texts, emojis, writes notes, the whole bomb experience.  You would find him telling her how she is the most beautiful woman in the entire galaxy and even as she said it, she had her eyes in up in the ceiling and with a smile on her face as though she was reminiscing those moments.

maybe he does love her and is convinced about all these things he tells her, and maybe these are necessary to sustain the love they both share.

But when a man tells you that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, I gotta say:

You don’t think it means you’re objectively the most beautiful person in the room and that he means it. Butt instead you think it means he loves you, so HE finds you the most beautiful person in the room.

if this assumption is true, then how can you tell when he means what he says and not just flattering you with necessary compliments to keep the flame burning?? Pointless right.

What is true one hour can become a lie the next, and vice versa. Some days saying “I love you” doesn’t feel honest at all, but it expresses a deeper truth that is necessary for the love to be sustained.

Lets look at some possible lies there can be :

 You both don’t admit that you checkout other people when you go out because you know it needlessly hurts the other person’s feelings. But you can both assume the other person does it; therefore, if you find out the other person does it, there is no point in being deeply betrayed by that which you can assume is true, and that which you are guilty of, too, which doesn’t threaten the relationship’s core values.

A negative event though would be finding out your lover has a secret special someone (personal person, bae, boo – what ever the young generation calls it these days).

To not feel deeply betrayed by the second lie would require bulletproof immunity to lies. Which I believe is called cynicism. Which means you’ve got no business even trying to be in love.

Let me try to wrap this up.
A friend of mine lies all the time in general and especially to her man. And honestly, She lies about the smallest of things and does stuff that she KNOWS is questionable. Recently something questionable she did came to light and instead of being honest about it, she called me and asked “well…should I lie to him?” I was thinking, “um… you already know you’re gonna lie to him anyway so even if I advise otherwise, you’re STILL going to do it.” I still advised her not to lie. She still lied anyway. Sigh…

And that’s the thing. I get that we won’t all be honest all the time. But, if honesty isn’t the default for you in any other situation, then relationships will be hard for you.

don’t complicate your lives!!!! 🙂


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