I was waiting

Let me start by first apologising for the long absence. I had become part of the statistics of writers who whine about not being able to write lately…I’ve been absent-minded for months, feeling like what I have to say wont really be a reflection of my true self.

But the truth is that i had lost my passion, I’m ashamed to admit but i wasnt getting any inspiration whenever i opened my macbook to scribble my thoughts. So I guess these past few months has been about me “waiting it out,” but pain is like a cat, it comes and goes when it pleases. So let’s pet the cat, shall we?

I sort of fell out of “love”(if it even merits that description) with a girl i was in a “relationship” with for a year and half. It was expected, sudden, a clean cut of sorts… so clean in fact that after the relationship it was as if she never existed in my life. I was free of a burden and it felt sort of great to be single again. I kid you not.

My whole life has been like a movie, a satire which i myself i’m intrigued to watch it unfold. Sometimes my life hovers over me, it feels foreign. I wake up and go to sleep with the same feeling: I’m waiting for normalcy to come and take me on a date, or even better, out for a long drive.Sigh!!!!

I’m waiting for the faces i meet to look familiar , the taste of the water from the despencer to taste like life, the music on the radio to be familiar again; I’m waiting for the conversations i have with friends to take 2hours, not 1 or 20minutes because i really have a lot to say but i cant seem to get the words right; I’m waiting for the right side of the bed to remind me all will be well in the morning; I’m waiting to dream again, running in a field with green grass and earth scented breeze blowing on my face; I’m waiting for someone to cook me breakfast in the morning just before i wake up; I’m waiting, I’m waiting, I’m waiting…

Waiting is painful. Its a long wait for a promised serenity that might never come, even worse by the time you get it, its not what you had dreamed of. I have been tamed, I’m more careful now with my words and i absolutely hate it. I’ve never been that guy who bites his tongue but i guess its true what they say, everything gets tamed with time, even a strong free souls like mine.

For those who kept refreshing and hoping to find new posts here since November 25,2016, i would love to say sorry but thats not the kind of guy i am anymore, life has taught me many lessons and i believe it was necessary so i could write these things you keep reading. 🙂

 

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